open letter

An open letter to the random man in the Doctor’s waiting room

To the random man in the Doctor’s waiting room,

Somehow we have both managed to be sitting in the same waiting room for the obstetrician. You are here with your partner and I am here with my entire family. We don’t live in this town you see, so we do not have the luxury of having our children minded, they have to attend whatever appointments we have. Seeing that the obstetrician we are seeing delivered both of our babies, I don’t think she will mind too much that they have accompanied us today.

You seem to be bothered though, my eight week old is happy enough but does demand some attention, to be honest what eight week old doesn’t? My sixteen month old has travelled six hours in the car and then been made to wait for an appointment half an hour longer then we had hoped. She is restless but well behaved, she wants her parents to read her stories and to play with the older children in the waiting room. She only wants to say hello and then she moves on. She is a young child, a baby even, a simple hello and then continuing on with conversation is all that is needed, not snide remarks about how close our children are.

You see, random man in the waiting room, it’s really none of your business how close they are. You do not have to have children close together, you don’t have to have any if you choose. That’s the thing with freedom of choice, its one we all have. We are parents of a young family, who are treading through the first few years of being Mum and Dad. We are happy and our children are loved, supported and provided for. Their age gap is really none of anyone’s concern, especially someone like you, someone we have never met. I didn’t need to hear your remark to your partner and to be honest neither did anyone else is the waiting room. Your partner seemed uncomfortable like she knew I had heard, but you didn’t seemed concerned at all.

I’m a strong girl, and to be honest, I really couldn’t give a shit, what others think of me or my life choices, but others may. I have bounced back from my pregnancy and giving birth well, but others may not. Words hurt random man, and I hope you think twice before expressing your opinions of another so they can hear in the future.

 

Regards,

BCM 

 

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An open letter to all the mothers…

Hey there, yes you ! 

To the mother trying to pretend she has it all put together, the mother who actually does, the mother  who has had nine hours sleep last night and the mother who has actually had none! To the mother who’s house is immaculate and the mother who’s house is a dump, to the mother who’s baby weight fell straight off and to the mother who is heavier then before. To the mother of one and to the mother of ten! 

We are all the same, treading water in the same crazy wave pool! Trying to raise a family, raise decent, loving, honest children. Some times they love us, sometimes they don’t! Sometimes days are smooth and wonderful and others are long and exhausting. Sometimes we feel like we are winning and sometimes we truly feel we are not. Sometimes we need a shoulder to cry on and sometimes we need to be that shoulder! 

We are all quick to judge – forgetting that we are all heading towards the same goal! Others try and advise mothers how to bring up their children. When we all know its always best to leave the decision making up to the child’s parents. What works for you, doesn’t always work for them! We should build each other up, not tear each other down. 

So next time, you see a mother dealing with a toddler tantrum – give her a compassionate smile, not a condescending sneer! Next time you see a mother with two young kids and another on the way, offer your congratulations not a chuckle under your breath! (It’s not as subtle as you think)

We are all in this together, the more we feel supported, the easier this crazy roller coaster ride of parenthood will be! 

I support you, do you support me? 
Until next time, 
B