When you become a parent, there are certain things, memories or feelings from your own childhood that you wish to recreate for your own children. Something that always made you feel comfortable, safe or happy.
For me the thing I most wish to recreate for our girls is the security I always feel in my parents home. I have not lived with my parents for 10 years, however their house is still without a doubt one of my favourite places in the world. The comfort in their four walls is something that I cherish. Their house is home, no matter where I live. As a child, coming from a close knit family, meant I enjoyed movie nights with my family, hanging out on Sunday afternoons or playing the nintendo until bed time (even though I truly sucked compared to everyone else). We created fond memories and they still radiate in the walls of their home. The familiarity of everything in that house calms me and is my happy place if I ever feel like I need picking up.
I want this for my girls, I want to create a safe haven, a cosy home for them to cherish. I want them to love being here with us and to feel the same warmth in our home, as I feel in my parents’. I want us to be their security, for our house to hold our family memories and for it to comfort them when they need it.
I want the photos on our walls to tell one story and the familiarity of our rooms to tell another. I want them to feel at peace here. I want to pass on the feeling of being in a strong family unit. I want this house to be their happy place and for it to be their home no matter where life takes them.
All that I am, all that I’ll be – I owe to my mother and father. (and I hope one day, my kids say that about us)
What do you want to pass on to your children? Or even what do you not?
Until next time,
To my dearest coffee,
I am writing to thank you from the bottom of my heart for everything you have and continue to do for me, especially in these last few years. I always drank you because I enjoyed you, but now you are my play button. The kick up the but I need to begin my days.
You have managed to single handily pick me up on multiple occasions, even if I have had to consume 4 cups of your sweet goodness to get said pick me up. You have been my morning go to for years but now you are my afternoon go to as well. You have been reheated, spilt, shared with family, friends and acquaintances. You have been tipped out, spat out and remade. You have put up with and offered so much. How would I have ever survived without you?
Without you, some days would seem so much longer. Some days I don’t know if I could open my eyes, talk to people, be nice to people. Functioning off two hours of sleep is made easier with you, not easy – easier. You are a good excuse to get together with friends and a good excuse to sit alone on the lounge for a while.
As with all good things, you certainly have your cons, such as the new stress I have when trying to enjoy you, when my toddler is in the room. The constant reminders that you are hot and the cup is not for babies is getting old. Yet I still find myself needing you every single day.
People say you’re no good for me, but I don’t see myself ever giving you up.
Thank you coffee for all you have done!
[Hope you enjoyed my sarcastic letter of one of my life saviours, until next time BCM]
Feature image sourced from pexels.com
To the random man in the Doctor’s waiting room,
Somehow we have both managed to be sitting in the same waiting room for the obstetrician. You are here with your partner and I am here with my entire family. We don’t live in this town you see, so we do not have the luxury of having our children minded, they have to attend whatever appointments we have. Seeing that the obstetrician we are seeing delivered both of our babies, I don’t think she will mind too much that they have accompanied us today.
You seem to be bothered though, my eight week old is happy enough but does demand some attention, to be honest what eight week old doesn’t? My sixteen month old has travelled six hours in the car and then been made to wait for an appointment half an hour longer then we had hoped. She is restless but well behaved, she wants her parents to read her stories and to play with the older children in the waiting room. She only wants to say hello and then she moves on. She is a young child, a baby even, a simple hello and then continuing on with conversation is all that is needed, not snide remarks about how close our children are.
You see, random man in the waiting room, it’s really none of your business how close they are. You do not have to have children close together, you don’t have to have any if you choose. That’s the thing with freedom of choice, its one we all have. We are parents of a young family, who are treading through the first few years of being Mum and Dad. We are happy and our children are loved, supported and provided for. Their age gap is really none of anyone’s concern, especially someone like you, someone we have never met. I didn’t need to hear your remark to your partner and to be honest neither did anyone else is the waiting room. Your partner seemed uncomfortable like she knew I had heard, but you didn’t seemed concerned at all.
I’m a strong girl, and to be honest, I really couldn’t give a shit, what others think of me or my life choices, but others may. I have bounced back from my pregnancy and giving birth well, but others may not. Words hurt random man, and I hope you think twice before expressing your opinions of another so they can hear in the future.
Today, I’m going to share some things my mother always told me, that I intend to use myself as my child grows.
1. “We will see”; growing up I always thought that when my mum said “we will see” that she meant it, however as I have gotten older, she disclosed to me, that she used this to see how much I wanted something before having to even consider giving me an answer. If I wasn’t asking for it a couple of days later, obviously it wasn’t that important. Cheeky (clever) mum!!
2. “If you have done something, it’s best to tell me first. It’s better for me to hear it from you then from someone else”; I was always told that if I did something, I knew was wrong or that I knew my mother would disapprove of, then it was always best if I told her first. I grew up in a small town, and my daughter will too, so it is inevitable that word gets around. It’s true that other people love to dish the dirt and it took the fun out of it for the gossipers if mum already knew!
3. “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”; self explanatory, used by many! But in a world dominated by social media and keyboard warriors, I believe it is now more important then ever, that my child learns to keep nasty thoughts and comments to herself! No one likes a bully!
4. “It’s more important to participate, then to be the best”; I grew up playing sport, keeping my parents’ weekends full and wallets empty. I was taught, that I may not be good at everything (ain’t that the truth) but that I should always give it a go. Sport and other hobbies, allow kids to meet new people, develop skills and confidence. I look forward to passing this onto my offspring.
5.”I’m your mum first, your friend second!”; I have always been close with my mum, it’s always been a wonderful relationship. But when I was younger, when it mattered most. I was taught that while we might have a close friendship, that she is my mum first, friend second. Now I’m older that has changed but especially as an adolescent I think it’s extremely important that these lines don’t become blurred. So Rhemy Sharen, I say to you, I will always be your friend, but first I will always be your mother!
What traits, sayings, tricks has your mother passed down to you?