Mummy guilt! 

I know I have talked about this on a lot of my blog platforms in one way or another but it is one that is most relevant to right now. One I think most (if not all) of us feel at one point or another. Mummy guilt! 

It’s a bitch! It creeps up on us when we don’t expect it too, when we are going about our every day, when we are working, when we are trying to sleep! 

I feel it a lot – I feel it for Rhemy and how quickly she had to grow up. For the moments she needs me and I can’t be there for her because her sister needs me more, for the times I realise I expect her to be older than she really is and for making her share us before she really had too. I feel it for Miami because she doesn’t get the attention she deserves, because I feel like I haven’t got the time to give to her like I gave to Rhemy, I feel it because I can’t always be there when she needs me to be and that she always has to share us. 

I blame myself when Rhemy is naughty – even though I know it’s the naughty twos! I blame myself when Miami isn’t crawling – even though I know kids do things in their own time! I blame myself when they are hurting and think of ways I could have prevented it – even though I know I really couldn’t have! I blame myself when I miss things when I’m at work – even though I know being at work means I can give them more.

Let me tell you though that mummy guilt subsides when I see them playing together, Miami laughing so hard and Rhemy being so kind. When Miami lights up when I see her and Rhemy tells me she loves me. When they hold hands because they want too or when Rhemy tries to show Miami how to crawl. 

Mummy guilt is a bitch but deep down I know I’m doing this mama thing right! 

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